5 Outrageous Male Full-Frontals In Film

The shock value with nudity in film has diminished considerably over the past few decades. Iconic movie moments are no longer signified by a female merely disrobing. Show stopping events such as Sharon Stones’ leg crossing scene in Basic Instinct and Kate Winslet posing nude in Titanic are now just blips on the radar compared to the other actresses that have also bared it all.

Current moviegoers are typically just left with nothing more than a shrug and a smirk when subjected to the nudity that would previously evoke a gasp. However all is not lost for the director that still wants to make an impact by exposing a little skin. Once male nudity gets thrown up on the big screen, most viewers quickly get in touch with their discomfort for human anatomy.

This is not to say that the audiences’ unpleasant reaction towards nude actors in modern cinema isn’t justified because nearly all the scenes that feature naked dudes are anything from artistic. There always seems to be some unwatchable act that follows an actor’s pants hitting the floor, and it’s these actions that make male full-frontals feel like a slow motion car crash.

5. Forgetting Sarah Marshal

Jason Segel
Universal Pictures

Going through a breakup is always tough. It’s awkward, depressing, and one person in the relationship is usually always caught off guard by the news. But in some cases this catastrophic event can be salvaged.

If each person admits that they will try harder to be a better spouse and both parties are open to growth and change, the formerly withered relationship has a chance to beautifully bloom once again; unless of course the boyfriend starts the conversation by slapping his dick across his thighs and then transitions right into naked crying. This behavior probably seals the fate of a failed relationship 99% of the time.

The real victim to this entire situation is the leather couch that gets greeted by Peter Bretters’ sad and exposed hindquarters. How could Peter ever be expected to appreciate this relationship if he couldn’t even respect the freshness of those quality cushions?

4. Django Unchained

Django Unchained
The Weinstein Company

On the surface this just seems like a traditional torture scene. Django is hung from some rafters upside down, is bound and muzzled, and is stripped of all his clothing in preparation for the impending mutilation; but there are several elements with this scenario that are slightly confusing.

If the intention was to subject Django to unimaginable pain and suffering via castration, why would the torturer make an already razor sharp knife red hot? Although this probably serves as a way to instantly cauterize the wound to keep it from bleeding, it would also seer the nerve endings resulting in minimal pain and likely just an episode of shock.

Lucky for Django, Stephen wasn’t aware of this technique and stopped the act from happening under the assumption that Django would just bleed out in roughly six minutes. Even though being bound is appropriate for this event, is the muzzle really necessary? Its intended purpose can’t be to muffle the screaming because they are miles away from civilization. Viewers could assume it is to prevent biting, but with his mouth being at ankle height how much damage could Django really do?

All this preparation seems a little over-the-top when a chair and some rope could have accomplished the goal quite fine. Regardless, Django did have to endure a racist plantation worker pulling at his manhood while both literally and figuratively speaking down to him, so not all torture was avoided.

3. Super Troopers

Farva 1
Fox Searchlight Pictures

Anybody that was expecting a “large Farva,” sure didn’t get one unless they were referring to his waistline. It might have been the cold water or his insecurity for getting a scrub down by the local police force, but he surely wasn’t proudly on display while he received his impromptu prison shower. This seems odd for a man of his stature, because being covered in sugar should serve as an aphrodisiac.

However being transformed into a chubby powdered donut did have some effect on Farva. Not only does he shamelessly try to make a good impression with the only babe on the local police squad as he’s sticky and exposed, but he eventually switches teams to join the guys that found enjoyment unnecessarily performing a delicious delousing.

Who knows, maybe Farvas’ unconventional choices can be explained through medical science. Based on the beer chugging, excessive puking, frat-like rage, homophobia, and undersized male genitalia, all signs clearly point to steroid use; well except for the tremendous man-gut.

2. The Watchmen

Blue Man
Warner Bros. Pictures

The decision to include Dr. Manhattans’ blue penis in this film came after hours of deliberation in meetings with Zach Snyder and the films staff. Comic fans argue that the portrayal of his member was a little over the top and that it didn’t truly represent the original content in the graphic novel. Dr. Manhattan, a scientist turned demigod, was originally much different in girth, length, and style when he appeared in print. This was purposely done to represent his fear of the evils associated with humanity.

One of the main struggles that the movie experienced was associated with the content rating. The glowing blue eyesore appeared so much that it had the potential for pushing the film outside the “R” rating by the MPAA. But since the body part was developed with CGI, the film received a pass and wasn’t required to move to a more restricted rating.

This was good news for the film because despite the amount of demigod full-frontal, when The Watchmen was released in 2009 it was the sixth highest grossing “R” rated film in North American movie history. Although fans of the comic and the movie can split hairs about the details of Dr. Manhattans physique, all can agree that clothing is inappropriate for any creature that has the ability to create new worlds.

 1. Wolf Of Wall Street

Jonah Hill
Paramount Pictures

Booze, Cocaine, Quaaludes, sex, and destruction were the key components to parties in the 80’s for young brokers. There weren’t boundaries for behavior and inhibitions were left at the door. An illusion of class and sophistication were projected by participants, but everyone knew that these social gatherings were nothing more than drug induced orgies at their core. It was the role played by the party-goers that kept the activities regulated to a tolerable level of debauchery.

But even with all this crude behavior it only takes one guy that is incredibly high to openly jerk it in the middle of the party to introduce a dark shadow to an already horrific scene. Apparently the excessive intoxication and sexism weren’t enough to shock patrons; it was the sight of an erect penis that sent shockwaves through the crowd.

Yet this public reaction appears a little unfair to Donnie. He was displaying selflessness and decency by managing his own sexual urges. If anything the woman that he had in focus should have felt flattered by his gesture. Donnie did at least mutter “she’s perfect” as he was tugging on his member. In this situation is there a more appropriate compliment?

 

Are you curious to see Jonah Hill expose it all? Grab the The Wolf of Wall Street on Blu-ray + DVD + Digital HD at Amazon.com. And while you’re at it, maybe grab some new pants too.

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